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 Himself |
topic started 11/24/2006; 3:04:27 PM
last post 11/28/2006; 9:38:26 AM |
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 25433 - Himself 
11/24/2006; 3:04:27 PM (reads: 2896, responses:
2) |
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In the center of his world
The beautiful business of Europe
There he is.
Sights he never glaces at
Friends he'll never have
Impressed only by a mirror
Himself he wants to be
Change would be a crime
But he's already trapped
In his own prison of narcissisim
Conversations lie; diceiving
I, me, my
Is all he says
LIke a favorite dish
Of himself he'll never tire
A goose wadling
He sees as his own elegance
Like an ostentation of peacocks
He shows off with a strut
We ask why?
Self confidence, is his reply.
Difference of oppinion- maybe
But himself is all he listens to
A passion soaring in bird form
He believes in his imangined wings
Faith carries him high above
He is, his own true love.
Posted by 25433 on 11/24/06; 3:04:27 PM
from the dept.
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24926 - Re: Himself
11/24/2006; 3:09:20 PM (reads: 1462, responses:
0) |
Love the personality you've created in the poem.
"Impressed only by a mirror" - neat image.
A suggestion: A passion soaring in bird form. It could sound stronger if you perhaps wrote it 'Passion, a soaring bird'
I love the ending line. It really sums up his personality and completes it well.
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12090 - Re: Himself
11/28/2006; 9:38:26 AM (reads: 1452, responses:
0) |
Nice work Heidi
no matter what you may think you have a talent with words, this was nicely done
strong points: your ending and beginning lines work well to encompass this piece.
Suggestion:This was great and doesnt need much improvement. Try to write a rhymiric piece, it would be interesting to read...
Keep up the good work =)
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